I went through a period, about two years, when i pursued peace so much that i ended up almost losing everything. My job I lost, my house i almost lost, relationship, even simple things like clothes. I didn’t realize I took a lot of responsibility in maintaining harmony. I was blind to realizing the other side was not even bothered to make an effort to maintain harmony. I won disagreements but my belongings began to be threatened away from me. I was prepared to lose most of the time for peace sake. I began losing things and detaching from them in case next time they are being threatened to be taken away.
I ended up with nothing and sleeping on the streets. That way I felt safe from threats. I think my life was invaded by a spirit. And the people in my life that time were driven by that spirit. I still don’t know whether its because I was in a foreign territory or it was my perception. I wanted to go back my hometown so much that I was ready to lose everything for a ticket back home.
After detaching from the things I had and wanted,I realized my reputation was defamed and character misrepresented. I was shamed and faced false accusations. That got to me, I was made out to be a person I was not. I was cornered to be at the mercy of my accusers. Not that I had pride to receive, but that’s not how I knew mercy to be like. It gave me an internal conflict; my core beliefs as a christian. I began accepting that the spirit around me, though it was through people, was not from God not even humane. I learnt my value-system was an identity that God gave me. And that everything I gathered throughout the years was based on that value system. I learnt in the end when I started to fight for my belongings back , my house for instance , that even though it’s known to be Christ-like to not be after earthly things, he wants to Have. He came and was on the cross so i can have. To have an identity. To have possessions.
I got up from that homeless space and started fighting. when fighting back, i started losing some people. But i figured it was God removing them out of my life. Those were relationships that were imbalanced and compromising me. I learnt for the first time how it’s like to be rejected for standing up. To be rejected for who I really am. For God.
Looking back i learnt: God did not sacrifice his only son for me to agree with everyone John 3:16. For the mere fact that we are born of Christ , that separates from the world, John 15:19. I started valuing the work of the cross even more. For I realized it defines me. I learnt through my possession that Christ did not come for us to be in agreement and in harmony with everyone. He separated us through the work of Calvary. When i started fighting, God brought people who helped me get my things back. I managed to sell my house and not lose it in auction. I got a nice agent who was speedy and supportive. My neighbor helped me keep my furniture that i almost lost and helped me relocate. I got a new job. I met with people who agreed with my spirit. The ones who were in my life for good reasons stayed.